Wednesday, June 30, 2010

So maybe I'm not as good as I was hoping I would be with blogging.  I really like sharing thoughts and writing them down more for my benefit of organizing what is in my head (getting into my head, scary, I know).  I guess I kind of put pressure on myself to have semi meaningful blog posts and fun pictures and fonts to go along with it... and that is probably the reason why I haven't posted in like a month or two.  

Last week I went to week 3 of Super Summer as a Team Leader in Green School (each grade is assigned a color.  Green was juniors going to be seniors).  It was absolutely wonderful to get away and be around more people that are my age and are seeking after the Lord.  During the week, I was really encouraged through our school time (we had a great Exec staff - hilarious but totally grounded in what the Lord wanted to do in our school) and also through my kiddos for the week.  It amazes me every year I go to Super Summer as a Team Leader the kids who come and have been through situations that will absolutely break your heart but their fire and desire for the Lord will knock you over and it is very humbling.  

Even though the week is all about the kids and pouring into them, I feel like the Lord really spoke to me during the week and I left feeling very heavy-hearted and convicted about how I've been very selfish with my time.  I get so afraid of doing too much and getting worn out that I think I don't do "enough."  The last verse of "Desert Song" by Hillsong says:
This is my prayer in the harvest,
when favor and providence flow.
I know I'm filled to be emptied again.
This seed I've received I will sow.  
I feel like sometimes I've lost sight and perspective of pouring out completely.  I guess I get so afraid that I won't be filled up again that I'm afraid to pour out all I have been given.  That just shows how much I don't fully trust the Lord which I'm ashamed to admit.  

Listening to:
Green River Ordinance
Out Of My Hands
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